The Balance Between Busy & Bored

Balance is paying attention to the things that matter most, at the time that they matter most. 

~Kolette Hall

Once upon a time, I was a stay-at-home mommy.  I had an eight year old boy in school and a beautiful, giggly baby girl.  My life revolved around feeding schedules, school drop-off/pick-up, homework, diapers, bath time, cooking dinner, poop, and lots of laundry.  I was in a MOPS group and we went to church on Sunday, but the church was 30 minutes from our home and it was hard to connect with friends there because of the distance. My fabulous mom would stop by on her lunch break to wash dishes or play with the baby which was a huge blessing.  But other than those times and the occasional phone call from a friend to make sure I was still alive, I had very little adult interaction.  We didn't even have internet at our house during that time...

Let's stop there for a second.  I still cannot believe I lived for two years without internet. I guess I just didn't have time for it... but still.  Now, I can't go 20 minutes without feeling the urge to check my email or facebook.  Insane.

So, where was I?... right...  Just me, my kiddos, my husband, our little house and our little life.  There's a lot about that time that I miss.  Things were simple.  We had more time together.  We delighted in everything our children did because they were little and we were less distracted.  We ate dinner together every night, at home.  But on very cold days like today, I'm reminded of how isolated I felt.  And bored.  I remember how useless I felt... I felt like all the knowledge and experience I'd gained in school was flying out the window with each passing day.  I felt dumb.  And disconnected.  I knew how to cure a constipated baby and help make a pretty stellar science project, but that was about it.

Eight years later, my life is so drastically different.  I'm so busy now that I have to have multiple calendars and endless reminders on my phone so I can keep track of everything.  I'm constantly doing something on the computer, or running to a meeting, while catching up on housework when I get a free second.  I love all that I'm blessed to be able to do, and I've worked hard to finish what I have to do for work during the day so it interferes as little as possible with my family.  That's not always the case, but it's a huge blessing when it is.  But presently, there is not one night of the week that my entire family is home together.  I. HATE. THAT.

Even though I'm busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest these days, and I live on social media, I still have plenty of moments of feeling isolated.  I miss my husband.  A lot.  He works a ton of hours and we both volunteer a ton for church and stuff our kids are involved in.  When we finally do get a date, we typically go to wherever is cheapest or closest to home so we can hurry back and go to sleep because we're just plain exhausted.  I miss my kids... they are involved in so much and I feel like all the time we have together is rushed and filled with homework and chores.  And there are days when I go to bed and I think "did I have a conversation with my son today that lasted longer than 30 seconds?"  OUCH.

That saying "the grass is always greener" is so true... I remember wishing for things to do and places to go all those years ago... and now I wish for more time to just sit and talk and play games and hang out with my family.  I wish for a week of nothing to do.  It's funny isn't it... how you end up missing the things that drove you crazy at the time?

I think life is all about constantly trying to strike that perfect balance.  God wants us to be engaged, involved, and productive and to use the gifts He's given us, but He also wants us to not get so busy that we forget to stop and take time to listen to Him and love the people He's brought into our lives.  My mission this year is to try to find that balance for our family.  To be purposeful about our time together and to appreciate those moments more and not let myself become distracted.

If you are in the season of life that involves lots of diapers and Disney Channel and praying for nap time to come, I feel for you... But remember that you are doing a great work and someday, you will miss those peanut butter smudges on the tv and drool-covered smiles :).  And if you are in the kids in school, busier than you ever dreamed you could be, phase of life.... oh, boy, I get it.  But let me remind both of us that a time is coming when those kiddos will be off to college and out doing their own thing so let's find ways to enjoy this time before it's gone.

Wow, I feel like I've been a major Debby Downer today. This lack of sunlight and freezing weather is wrecking havoc on my psyche. But, I'm praying that all of us can take at least one step today to finding the balance between the busy and bored.